For those who don’t give up

Please enjoy this post from guest writer Amy Driskill, who was kind enough to share her gratitude transformation with us.

I have a confession.  I am not sure I am qualified to write about gratitude.  Recently, my husband and I got into an argument.  In the middle of it, I felt that I was living a lie.  I felt like he was attacking my character.  I wanted to run and hide.  You see, I do not tolerate lies from other people.  I cannot stand it.  I want to run, or in this case drive, away.  I live this hypocrisy because, while I abhor lying, I can somehow tolerate it within myself.  I tell myself lies every day.   I tell myself I am not good enough or that I’m not likeable enough.  I think other people are more qualified to write articles for great blogs such as this.  I let myself get away with lies!  It is a struggle I continue to deal with.  Old habits and hang-ups rear their heads from a childhood effected by abuse.

After our argument, my husband called over a great Christian friend of mine.  Emily is one of those no-nonsense people.  She’s a steady rock for her children, and I do not have to dance around the whole friendship issue.  I know she doesn’t play games.  Emily sat down with me and helped me see the old patterns I hold onto.  I knew what I was doing in the back of my head, but I had a hard time getting past the hurt.  We sat and talked for a while, and then she took care of my children as my husband and I talked.  It is such a blessing to have friends to depend on.

It’s also great to have a husband who can see past the hurt and habits.  He knows how I react, and he does not give up on me.  I have this underlying fear of abandonment, so he gets pretty stubborn with me.  I know he’s here to stay.  I know it’s just Satan telling me lies.  Obviously, I am a work in progress.  I wish you could have seen me years ago.  Ok, maybe not.  On the outside, I functioned, but I think that was about it.  I was a complete mess on the inside.  I also did not know the love of a Risen Savior.

I write to you today because of gratitude.  I am grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father.  He saved me from myself.  I’m grateful for a loving husband, who refuses to give up.  Finally, I am grateful for friends who hold me accountable and show their authentic selves without playing games or thinking they have to compete with other women.

Special thanks to Amy Driskill, today’s guest writer, for sharing her story.