Where your hands are

“Be where your hands are.”

Sure, that’s easy to do when you’re in one of those life-couldn’t-get-any-better-than-this moments. Or when you’re just doing something you enjoy, like hiking, canoeing, fishing, reading, or taking a nap.  Or when spending time with  people you really like.  Or when you’re about to vomit and can’t think of anything to eat that sounds appetizing but have to eat to avoid getting more nauseous.

Wait a minute.

Scratch that last one.

During those times, it is not easy to be where my hands are. I’d rather be somewhere pleasant, even if it’s just by taking a brain vacation to someplace peaceful, quiet, and beautiful. While there’s nothing wrong with taking a mental breather once in a while or even a literal vacation, I have to be careful to stay where my hands are. That’s where my life is happening. If I’m constantly mind-hopping into the best moments of my past or the potential best moments of my future, I’m missing out on living my own life.

Granted, there have been and still are moments in my life I’d prefer to fast forward. Feeling nauseous 90% of the time as a newly pregnant person. Going through a rocky divorce. Filing bankruptcy. Undergoing counseling to gain healing from trauma in my past. These times were “the worst of times” for me, but at the same time, they were MY times. Those moments are parts of my life, whether I like it or not. Sometimes escaping the bad times isn’t even an option since the only way out is often through. And I suppose I could have stuck my head in the sand rather than face the reality of a failing marriage or pretended everything was okay and refused to seek counseling, but where would I be right now? And who would I be right now?

I’ve chosen to be where my hands are today. It’s proof that I’m alive, and that no one else is living my life but me.

And that’s something to be grateful for.