Yesterday, my husband and I had the privilege of hearing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time.
Instantly, I cried. I knew I probably would; I have become a much more emotional person than I used to be. The closer I get to God, the more in tune with my own feelings I am. I feel things more deeply and am more likely to recognize and experience the beauty and wonder in things around me now than I used to be.
I’m grateful for the change. Transitioning from a somewhat Stoic, cynical individual to one whose heart is full of gratitude has been a rough journey but one worth taking. I’m fully alive now.
Lying on the exam table in a silent room, listening to the quiet beat of my baby’s heart, I was reminded of how often I am just like Thomas, Jesus’ disciple, who simply could not believe until He could see the scars and feel the hole in His side.
I knew our baby existed. I saw the proof on the pregnancy test and have been experiencing multiple symptoms which point very clearly to its existence. But something about hearing it for the first time made it more real to me.
God is like that.
He’s always there, even when we can’t see, feel, or hear Him. His heart keeps beating for us and waiting for us to listen.