The first time I heard the song “You Won’t Relent” by Misty Edwards, I was 29 years old. I was recently separated from my second husband. I knew our divorce was the best option, but I still found it to be difficult, painful, and devastating. I was bitter.
Quite honestly, I was consumed with my own concerns. I wanted to go my own way, do my own thing, and drown out the difficulties temporarily. So I did what I’d always done–dated people who weren’t right for me, drank wine by myself on my front porch one too many times, and stopped going to church to avoid becoming the subject of “prayer requests” (AKA gossip).
The idea that God refused to relent until He had all of me just didn’t sound realistic or appealing to me then. In fact, it intimidated me. I wanted to benefit from knowing God, but I didn’t really want Him to know all of me. I wonder if I was afraid that He might not love what He found if He “had it all,” as the lyrics go.
Fortunately, His jealous pursuit of me ended as predicted–He found me, He knows me, and He loves me. Thank God.
No matter how many times I’ve held back parts of myself, He has never stopped coming after me. This is love–not that I did all the right things and gave all the right Sunday School answers and earned my way as a spiritual Teacher’s Pet, but that “while I was still sinning, Christ died for me” (Romans 5:8).
And continues to lay Himself down for me, break through walls I painstakingly built over the course of decades, and fight Death, Darkness, and Despair on my behalf.
Last night, during my insomnia-induced restlessness, pieces of the lyrics to “You Won’t Relent” kept replaying themselves in my mind. Only now, four years after the first time I heard it, I’m not afraid of the words. I couldn’t wait to look up the song online and remember why this song matters so much to me. It’s not a song; it’s the story of our Love.